


Strawberries & Bombs That Explode On Impact

by lonelykitten1



Series: Don't Stop Smoking And Drinking [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Marijuana, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Relationship, Teen Angst, Teenage Rebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelykitten1/pseuds/lonelykitten1
Summary: LONG SUMMARYThe voice inside of Jensen was eating away at him. He despised himself because he'd never had it easy at school or at home,not ever, and was just so tired 'n sick of it all...sick of himself. Every day had become an endless list of chores, and it was just more hassle than it was worth. Each day, he sat in class and stared at his teachers walk back and forth, back and forth, confined in these walls, like birds in a cage. Jensen just didn't see a point to any of it. The real world was outside these white walls, on the other side of these barred windows...SHORT SUMMARYJensen is a troubled teenager/high school student.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Series: Don't Stop Smoking And Drinking [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/749196
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**March 16, 2005**

It was a few months before school went out for summer vacation, although winter hadn't quite given up on them yet. When it wasn't raining, it was snowing, and the river outside was still iced over from bow to stern. The trees were stripped of their green leaves, the winter weather conditions having made them lose their foliage back in November.

Inside Jensen's classroom—the school's only laboratory which catered to classes like ecology, chemistry, and biology—, the windows were opened, allowing not only the smell of freezing rain on partially melted snow to penetrate the room, but the pitter-patter of the heavy raindrops hitting the ground, roof, and walls outside the classroom.

Little drops of water rolled down the windows into the classroom, but Jensen ignored it in favor of feeling the fresh air on his face and watching the cars outside pass by. The sky was blue and cloudless; the sun shone brightly across the bed of white snow, making it sparkle and glisten under its assault.

As always, Jensen's mind wandered as he was uninterested and sick and tired of school. Absentmindedly, he doodled in his notebook and all over the margins of his textbook—making little drawings and scribbling down words from his favorite songs. His elbow rested on his desk with his chin on his palm; his eyes drooped and his head bobbed in sleep every so often, as the rest of his classmates listened attentively to the teacher discuss the next exam.

Jensen wasn’t interested in biology, and, truth be told, he didn't really like his classmates. He still carried some sort of redraw emotion of unprocessed trauma from years of being bullied throughout elementary and into early middle school. It ate away at confidence, self-image, and sanity like termites on old floorboards as he thought about how even his best friend from elementary had turned against him when they started middle school.

Almost needless to say anyway, Jensen was quietly minding his own business when, suddenly, his name was mentioned loudly, and it pulled him out of his daydream and back to present reality. “ ** _Jensen!_** ” 

Jensen glanced cautiously around the room and noticed that all the students were staring at him. He then surveyed the room for his teacher only to find him standing right next to his desk, hands-on-hips with a disapproving look in that 'teacher caught me pose'. At that moment, Jensen couldn't have felt more out of place. "Yes?"

“What are you doing?”

Jensen’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but he was unable to come up with any good answer.

“Come see me after class.”

Okay... so maybe Jensen was a troublesome student: he rarely listened and was just all in all odd.

With that, Mr. Wright pulled his notebook and agenda off his desk and brought them to the front of the classroom, where he put them in a drawer. Jensen didn't think he'd ever see them again.

For the rest of the class, Jensen stared blankly at his teacher, at the projector, and out the windows again, daydreaming of being outside or his favorite TV shows, although trying his best this time not to put his chin on his hand and his elbow on his desk, in the way his English hated and forbade him of doing because it made him seem bored.

The last thing Jensen wanted to do was fuel his teacher's anger.

RING RING RING RING

Jensen was unpoised as the school bell rang and his classmates started to get up and leave.

Jensen shoved his books into his backpack. He had a plan to walk out the door and down the hall with the other students before his teacher even realized he was gone. However, just as Jensen arrived at the front of the class, he felt a hand grip his bicep and heard the words “Where do you think you're going?” as he tried to make his way to the door.

Jensen turned to look at his teacher and adjusted the strap of his backpack over his shoulder as the last of the students exited the class and he was left alone with his teacher. 

“You're failing, Jensen. Your grade point average is under thirty percent,” his teacher said disparagingly. 

Jensen watched as Mr. Wright pulled out a stack of papers from his briefcase. He riffled through them for a moment before pulling out one, setting it apart from the others, and then swiveling it around on the desk so Jensen could see it. Jensen took a step closer and looked down at his latest exam only to see red marks and exes all across his paper.

To be completely honest with himself, Jensen didn’t care that he was even failing biology, but his teacher didn’t seem to like it —or maybe he just had it out for Jensen? The problem was that Jensen didn’t want him talking to his parents, and he didn't need it getting back to his sister or brother either.

“You're the only one who's failing, Jensen,” he said. “You also never any pay attention in class, and I've warned you about this before.” He seemed angry at his behavior.

Jensen shifted on his feet. “I know. I'm sorry! I'll improve my grades. I swear it—”

“The year is already more than halfway over,” interrupted his teacher, shaking his head. “There are no summer classes in biology. If you fail this class, you're expelled.”

Jensen's stomach tightened. Jensen went to a private high school where students couldn't be held back and weren't allowed to fail classes without retaking them in the summer before the next year. His parents would kill him if he got expelled; they'd never let him live it down, and neither would the other students.

“I promise... **I'll do better!** ” exclaimed Jensen. Why wasn't he listening to him? Did he think he was lying?

Mr. Wright shook his head. “We're past that point. You leave me no choice now,” he said, taking back the full stack of papers and putting them into his briefcase. “I'll be calling your parents. I think it's only appropriate that we should discuss your future, or lack thereof, at this fine institution, seeing as they're paying to have you sent here.” 

Jensen was fucked. His parents were paying a fortune to send him there and already they didn't get along with him. Alan and he fought all the time, at times even physically. Don't even get him started on his relationship with his brother... In the time that they'd attended the same schools, Joshua had pretended that he didn't know Jensen because he despised him.

Next, Mr. Wright pulled out some extra exercises along with his agenda and notebook which he'd confiscated earlier from one of his desk drawers and handed them over to Jensen. He then indicated to him with his hand to leave as the school bell rang again and students started to pour into the room for the next class.

Jensen kicked himself mentally. He'd missed recess and was already late to his next class which was on the other side of the school. Can you believe it? He didn't bother asking his teacher for a permission slip.

It was off to the principal's office... _again_.

TBC~


	2. Chapter 2

It was lunchtime, and Jensen's chaotic day had calmed down. He stood putting his schoolbooks back into his locker. Although he was late to his second class of the day, he hadn't missed much of it, much to Jensen's relief as history was second favorite class after French poetry, and he loved learning about world politics and 20th-century history.

“Hi Jensen,” said Lydia from behind his locker door.

“Hey Lydia,” said Jensen, pulling out his lunch bag from the locker before closing the door and locking it. 

“Are you alright?”

“I'm fine,” Jensen said, trying not to roll his eyes. He hated it when people asked him how he was. They always expected you to tell them you're okay, even though Jensen wasn't and everyone knew that. He turned to look at Lydia who was leaning back against the locker next to his, trying to flick her beautiful, long dark straight hair back over her shoulders as she adjusted the waistline of her kilt so the base was halfway up her thighs, revealing her muscular legs from years of competitive figure skating.

“Mr. Jones asked me if there was something wrong with you after Spanish,”

“Of course, he did,” he huffed. “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” she said. “You're my friend. He shouldn't be asking me that.”

Jensen looked up at Lydia for a moment then stared down at his feet. “I'm sorry,”

"Would you stop apologizing already? You always apologize. It's annoying," she smiled. “And you know I've always got your back. Who cares what anybody else says? I don't.”

After lunch, Jensen had gym class, but he didn't have the heart for team sports—or gym for that matter—, so, _naturally,_ he hid in the bathroom and forced himself to vomit on his shoulder just to get out of it. 

He spent the rest of his afternoon sleeping in the school's resting area, under mountains of wool blankets and the watchful eye of Jesus Christ pinned to the cross on the wall above the door.

It was just another day in the life of Jensen Ackles.

JENSEN'S SUBCONSCIOUS

_No one sat next to Jensen at the table he sat at. He sat in the back of the library sleeping with his head between his folded arms, the books on the shelves dutifully ignored in favor of losing consciousness. This is how Jensen spent all his lunchbreaks._

_The library was close to empty, and the few students that were there stared solemnly at the front door, as though they were waiting for someone... or something to come through._

_Save the sound of chalk on a blackboard, the only other sounds you could hear were crickets. It was dark outside, and skinny tree branches scraped across the windows. The only light was the moon, and it lit up the blackboard like a candle and created shadows under the desks and across the books._

_Jensen was shaken awake with a feeling of apprehension. Suddenly, dark shadows began to seep through the open windows like black smoke from a diesel engine._

_A burning sensation filled Jensen's lungs as the shadows oozed from the walls and began to surround him, and he inhaled them into his lungs in surprise at the assault. Now with his feet cloaked in shadows, he tried to call for help, but no sound came from his lips and no one came to his rescue. He was being sucked into the abyss..._

_Jensen couldn't even_ _scream._

_He was only 12 years old and not ready **die**..._

TBC~


	3. Chapter 3

**March 20, 2005**

Jensen heard a voice calling his name. He grunted then rolled over in his sleep and tried to ignore it, but, the more he tried to ignore it, it louder it got. His head thrashed from side to side as his brows drew together in confusion. Jensen grunted as the voice called his name again and again... As Jensen's body slowly began to regain its senses, it dawned on him that it was his mother that was calling his name from outside his bedroom door. “Wake up, Jensen!” 

“Okay! Okay! I'm getting up!”

Still, he remained wrapped in the cocoon that was his bedsheets for fifteen more minutes until he sat up and stretched a little. He leaned over to grab a dark grey V-neck t-shirt and his favorite pair of navy-blue boxing shorts off the floor next to his bed and put them on. He always slept naked. The material of the t-shirt felt tight around his shoulders, and he realized then that he had packed on a few pounds in the latter part of high school.

Walking over to the door, he cracked it open slightly, hearing his mother and father both leaving for work. Jensen preferred to be alone when he got up in the morning.

Stepping back into his room with the door left slightly ajar, he stripped off his clothes before making his way across the hall into the bathroom, where he turned the nozzle to spray and the handle to be especially hot. He had planned to start off his day off with a cup of coffee but hearing his family leave for work made him want to be naked again and take his time.

Inside the shower, the spray had the perfect amount of pressure and felt powerful, but the blistering temperature of it left Jensen's skin feeling raw and sensitive, like a carpet burn or sunburn. As the room fogged up, Jensen wrote sad little words across the glass door with his index finger, like _I wish I could die._

After a while, he couldn't help but sit down on the floor on the shower, head resting against the glass wall until the water pouring over him went cold. Jensen didn't know how much time past before he stood up, turned off the water, and climbed out of the shower. His head hung low. It was a few minutes of drying off and slipping into his day's clothes before he walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to make himself a cup of steaming hot coffee.

As Jensen walked into the kitchen, he was surprised to find Joshua eating cereal at the kitchen table. Joshua, unlike Mackenzie and him, had fought their parents for months to be able to go to a public high school. Usually, though, he was gone before Jensen in the morning. Jensen himself was a bit if a night owl.

"Aren't you going to be late?" His eyes narrowed in on Jensen.

Jensen shifted from one foot to the other. He was by no means a great liar, but then again neither was he completely transparent. The only way to get out most stuff was to lie. "I missed the bus. I'll walk the seven miles to school," By the time he got there, most of the day would have blown by. Jensen's plan was _**genius.**_

“I'm onto you, Jenny,” said Joshua.

By the time Jensen arrived at school, it was nearly 2 p.m. All the students were sitting in their classrooms.

Jensen pulled at the tie around his neck, loosening the knot as a result, and took a deep breath as he arrived at the school. As he made it through the sturdy oaken doors of the main entrance, he wondered if he could even get through the rest of the day despite there only being two hours left to it. The air had suddenly felt thick as he breached the threshold of the premises...

Walking down the halls, Jensen looked around at the white walls and couldn't help but think they looked like hospital walls. Although he'd been in this school for a couple of years now, he felt lost there.

An announcement suddenly came over the intercom informing that class photos would be delivered in the next week. Jensen sighed: just what he needed, more school memorabilia to burn sooner or later.

As he turned corners and walked down the main hall, he pictured himself somewhere warm like California or back home in Texas where he had lived as a small child.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. The principal had applauded Jensen for his perseverance and his teachers had been amazed to hear the tale of how he'd walked seven miles in the cold weather to get to school. Jensen was a subtle _**hero**_. If Jensen wasn't so used to being hated, he might have been able to appreciate it.

On the bus ride home, Jensen sat next to Milo Ventimiglia. Milo was one of his better friends, which made it all the more strange when he pressed against his side and placed his hand on his neck. It made Jensen grow tense and his heart pump ice. Milo was the only gay student in school, although he wasn't out yet. 

"Milo?" Jensen finally whispered. His dark blond bangs fell forward, hiding his face and, in doing so, casting a shadow over his green eyes. He was trying very hard not to flinch away.

"Jensen, there's no need to fight it," answered Milo, his eyes trying to find Jensen's, voice soft and controlled as his gaze finally met Jensen's and his other hand came up to lay on his chest, his other hand now cupping the side of his face. "Nobody will be hurt by it because it is what it is. It can be just as simple as that."

Jensen lifted his face, and Milo could see his knuckles were white from his hands forming fists. He bit his lip and took a deep breath. "But I'm not gay!" 

Something flickered in Milo's eyes, momentarily reflecting too many emotions to count, as he quickly moved away as though he'd been burnt. He did not look back at Jensen.

The shadows on Jensen's bedroom ceiling moved around and flickered with the light coming through his blinds, creating great monsters of the night. As Jensen watched them, it seemed like they could bound down from the ceiling and hit him, so as the night went on, he grew more and more scared. He pulled the covers up to his chin and scrunched his eyes as tightly shut as he could, imagining demons in the room: under the bed, in his wardrobe, scratching at the door...

Jensen's night terrors had been driving him crazy.

There were no tears on his pillow, but what would happen when he completely lost his mind?

Jensen was down spiraling. He reached for the baseball bat that he kept by his bedside and hugged it against his chest as he tried to slow his breathing...

TBC~


	4. Chapter 4

**April 14, 2005**

Jensen sat across from Mrs. Williams, his school counselor, tapping his foot against the ground, sweaty hands clutching his seat, pulse racing, and eyes trained on the ticking clock. He refused to talk about his case. One of his teachers had picked up his agenda in class only to find disturbing words to songs written all over it and, without consulting with Jensen, had made an appointment for him with the school counselor. Jensen was inconvenienced by it, to say the least.

He trusted no one. Jensen would die before he opened his mouth.

This is why Jensen spent the whole half hour talking about Claudia, a girl at their school who was severely bullied. He didn't care that the teacher asked him to talk about himself.

12 p.m.

“ ** _Jensen!_** ” Milo called, jogging to his side. Jensen was surprised to see him as he hadn't seen him in over a month since the incident on the bus where Milo had all but put the moves on him.

“Hey, Milo!” smiled Jensen brightly, closing his locker.

“Do you want to go to the computer lab?”

“Sure,” 

As they began to walk towards the computer lab, Milo shifted ever so slightly closer to Jensen and said, “I heard you had an appointment with Mrs. Williams earlier today,” 

“Yes,” Jensen laughed. Any news got around quickly around here.

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Jensen began to sneer a little as he continued to laugh, albeit a little stronger than before. It was a bitter laugh. “I didn't tell her shit. You know they're all braindead robots,”

Milo sighed. He had to agree. They had no idea what it was like to be a teenager in a private catholic school in 2005. That said, as they arrived and sat down in the back of the lab, they both popped open their _VampireFreaks.com_ and _MySpace.com_ accounts on their respective computers. This is why they got along. They could really both enjoy their favorite activities together.

Jensen had never felt so in tune with someone in his life. It was a wonderful feeling, one that, unfortunately, Jensen was taking for granted without even realizing it.

**April 17, 2005**

Jensen had _**detention**_. He'd told a school warder —literally, there were bars on the windows of this God-forsaken school, and the school hired people to watch the grounds and make sure no one ever left the premises or that they did anything bad; they couldn't smoke or even kiss each other and hold hands —to go fuck herself when she complained that he wasn't wearing the school's uniform shoes. He was wearing ones like it, but he kept growing and his parents couldn't afford new shoes for school. He'd tried to explain it to her, but the woman had just looked down her nose at him and talked down to him, even called him an idiot.

So, apparently, Jensen had a problem with authority.

They had him repeating the dictionary for a full Saturday.

Jensen was not surprised by the injustice, as years in this school and in his family had taught him that authority was, in most cases, corrupt. They pushed around the young and ignored their most basic needs.

The day would come that Jensen would be an adult though, and only then would he be truly happy because he'd get to be around mature people and make his own choices.

Wasn't that every kid's dream?

TBC~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
